Smiley faces

It's happening.
 My emotions have reached the finger tips, which are now refusing to form the smiley faces that a part of me still wants to get out.
But how can I, When the rest of me is so consumed in this darkness that keeps coming back to feast on the light that it left behind?
The slivers of light that have kept me from toppling over in a heap of darkness on the cold floor.
I've defeated this darkness before.
But this time it's different.
Harder.

I just want my finger tips to form smiley faces again.