Last night, I had a dream.
Most of the time, it wasn't very pleasant. And most of the time, it didn't make sense.
But when it was pleasant, and when it did make sense,
You were there.
Sitting with me.
Side by side.
I was surprised you could tolerate touching me for that long.
You were there.
Talking to me.
I was surprised. I had forgotten what your voice sounds like.
Most of the time, it's all me. I sit here carrying on a conversation that only one of us will contribute to. And that one of us, isn't you.
Most of the time, I sit here sending out apologies in the dark. Apologies that have no meaning to me. Because I have no idea what I did to make you hate me. Apologies that haven't been accepted over the last two and a half years. I hope there's a good reason, because that's a hell of a long time to hold a grudge against someone who's brain isn't fully developed yet.
Most of the time, I get scolded for not reaching out to you. But this isn't a one way street.
But all of the time, I wish you would talk to me.
All of the time, I wish I could find a way to make you happy.
All of the time, I try to convince myself that your happiness shouldn't affect mine.
But all of the time, I fail.
Last night, I had a dream.
Most of the time, it wasn't very pleasant. And most of the time, it didn't make sense.
But I don't mind.
A dream is just a wish your heart makes.
And in my dream, you hugged me back.
whoa.
ReplyDelete"I hope there's a good reason, because that's a hell of a long time to hold a grudge on someone who's brain isn't fully developed yet."
so good.
"A dream is just a wish your heart makes.
ReplyDeleteAnd in my dream, you hugged me back."
Ouch. My heart.